5 Minutes vs 5 Decades: Your Pleasure, Her Pain

Mrs Patricia James heaved a sigh of relief for the first time in the past 50 years of her life, from an underlying pain which she's refused to share with anyone. Her inner relief started to come as she listened to Dr Lizzy Hakim as she facilitated in what happened to be the final session of her annual Women for Positive Change Conference, an annual conference she hosts through which she inspires excellence in women while addressing some underlying but critical societal cum cultural ills that peg women back from outstanding progress in life endeavours.

Dr. Lizzy runs Women for Positive Change Initiative as a Non-governmental Organization (NGO), and the annual conference is one of her outreach programmes to women of different age brackets. Dr Lizzy's talk was centered on helping rape victims recover from the associated trauma of rape. During the presentation, she had shared real stories of many victims of rape (while protecting their identities, particularly as some of them were seated in the audience) while giving relevant counsels on how to get over the excruciating emotional pains associated with being a victim of rape. She particularly emphasized on the need to speak out as a victim or witness of rape, noting that secrecy is one of the tools that help in incubating, multiplying and papetuating the dastardly act.

The Conference was exclusive for women, such that even the stewards and technicians were all women. This made it very easy for many more victims of rape who were there present to speak up after Dr Lizzy had finished her presentation, sharing many real life experiences which they'd not have shared otherwise. It was after that rigorous session, and attending to so many questions and taking many more reactions that Mrs Patricia approached Dr Lizzy outside the Conference Hall and desired to have a one-on-one with her. Because they were already well acquainted with each other and that Dr Lizzy was really exhausted, they went in a motorcade to her hotel room. After allowing her time to freshen up as well as having a light lunch with her, Mrs Patricia started to relate her tortious and lengthy tale.

"I just turned 13 years of age when it happened," Mrs Patricia started in such a rather depressed tone that Dr Lizzy had to encourage her to cheer up a bit more, assuring her of "being there for her". She then continued: "As a matter of fact, it happened on my 13th birthday, and I was just a lovely JS3 girl. I looked physically more mature than my age though - I probably looked 17, and all the attractiveness were there to fluant (although I wasn't particularly fluanting them, just that teens have to be teens)." "Yea, I understand," Dr Lizzy assured in a muse as she nodded.

"I had this young guy in my compound named Bosco. He was 17+ and very intelligent too, plus that he looked quite responsible as well," Mrs Rose continued. "He recently secured a university scholarship, and would be traveling to the UK the  day after the rape incidence. I have to admit that no one has ever taught me mathematics skillfully as he did, with so much simplicity and tactfulness employed. He was practically my best friend in the whole compound; on countless occasions we had sat together in our sitting room, and seldom in theirs, especially on weekends or during the holidays, either studying or just discussing casually while we saw a movies. My parents never questioned my closeness with him, maybe because of the fact that he'd always help me out with maths and the sciences, as well as the fact that he was also in very good terms with my elder brother (who was 18+). Moreover, he had two younger sisters, a set of twins, who were in a boarding school, with whom I as well very friendly." "It's quite understandable, you were just like family friends," Dr Lizzy quipped. "Exactly," Mrs Patricia confirmed. "He'd always call me pet names like 'baby girl', 'finny', 'shine-shine baby', 'bae', 'my wife', etc; even in my mom's presence. And while my mom took it as an innocent familiarity, I really enjoyed the names."

"The day before the ugly incidence transpired, he had assured me that he'd have a 'special and memorable time with me' before his journey; little did I know that the memorable time would not be 'pleasurable' to me at all as the softness of his tone was while he spoke those words. The incidence took place on a Friday, and so I came back from school at about 3pm as we did not have extramural classes at school on Fridays. His promised 'special and memorable time with me' propelled me to be on my way home as soon as the bell went, as against my usual practice of chatting around briefly with peers.

"Bosco was just coming down the stairs, wearing his three-quarter khaki shorts, as I walked into the almost  quiet-as-the-graveyard compound. We met at the foot of the stairway (they lived on the third floor, just directly above us in the four storey apartment house). He greeted me with that big-brotherly warm hug every teenage girl would savour; and as the 'happy birthday, my baby girl' left his lips, I clung more firmly to him, feeling safer than ever with him in his arms. Not even my siblings remembered my birthday that morning, and my mom who doesn't forget any of our birthdays travelled to the village with my dad for the funeral of a close relation the day before. These increased the value of his birthday wishes to me; and I remained locked in his arms for what may as well be up to five minutes, while he muttered some rather very soulish birthday prayers - if only I had known that an imminent danger was lurking in the corner, disguised in a friendly and big-brotherly robe." 

Mrs Patricia took a puase, shook her head in an obvious inner agony as she seemed to relive the whole experience over again. "Cheer up my dear," Dr Lizzy encouraged, as she went on to hold tightly to Mrs Patricia's hands, muttering some words of comfort in the process. Mrs Patricia took a sip from the glass of water in front of her and braced herself to continue the narration of her five-decade-old ordeal.

"His welcoming embrace and kind words made my heart the more tender towards him, but it wasn't anything romantic," Mrs Patricia reflected, evidently showing some bitter emotions. She went on to narrate how Bosco asked her to check on him at their suite as soon as she freshened up, with emphasis that he's got some 'special refreshments' for her; and that she almost hurriedly had a bath and put on clean casual wears - a camisole and a maybe-very-short skirt. "Which girl doesn't cherish 'a very special moment' and 'some special refreshments' from a big-brother on her birthday?" she said rather mockingly to herself.

"As I climbed up to their suite with all joyfulness, I did not know that I was equally as naive. He made me very comfortable with every details and served me a really delicious meal, with drinks accompaniments. Bosco could cook very well, unlike my elder brother who could hardly boil water for tea; so I didn't need a prophet to tell me that he prepared the meal himself. I wasn't a stranger to his house, I was more like a family member, but the type of courtesy he paid me that day was something else - every detail was with precision and his words were the kind of choice words you'd use when on a date with a princess. I took it that those words and treatments were because that day was my birthday, as well as the fact that he would be traveling the day after, bearing in mind his earlier promises. After the refreshments, I sat next to him in the sitting room while we saw an interesting movie. He'd occasionally touch me on the laps while we chatted; and at a point, because we were seated next to each other, I would lean on his chest," she narrated. "I was just as free with him as ever, and at that particular point with a farewell attitude caressing my mind and making me rather more gullible - and stupid as well."

At this point, Mrs Patricia couldn't hold back her tears any longer as she narrated how the young man started touching her "everywhere" until he finally overpowered her and forcefully slept with her right there is their sitting room. "Initially it was a seemingly innocent touch which I almost didn't resist; but every innocence in the whole thing faded away as his hands started to practically dance around my entire physical body. I tried to fight him off with all my might, little did I know that there was a beast in the guy that I had grown to accept as an elder brother and a caring friend," she continued her narrations, noting how he cruelly punched her on her stomach as she resisted him, how he slapped her mouth when she attempted biting him and how the loudness of the audio system concealed her groans while she struggled. "He treated me the way you can't treat an animal, pushed me out of their apartment after the rape and threatened to 'kill the hell in me' should I mention the incidence to anyone," Mrs Patricia said as she concluded her tales.

Dr Lizzy held her in a tight hug for a while as she was in tears again, while allowing her to recover her composure before asking her further questions. "It's obvious that that was how you lost your virginity; I can also imagine how hurting it was, both during and after the encounter. But, how did you handle it? Did you tell anybody about the ordeal - your mom, a trusted teacher, your school counselor, your church head, anybody?" "I never mentioned it to anyone," Mrs Patricia said in response. "As a matter of fact, this is my very first time to ever share this with any human being at all. I think, I was safer keeping it to myself than opening up to anyone and getting blamed for being raped." "How do you mean?" Dr Lizzy enquired. She then responded by telling her how her mom would have blamed her for wearing a camisole to visit a guy, and how blames would be laid on her for possibly flirting around the guy. "They'll all heap the blame on me; nobody would reason along with me. Only my elder brother would have been on my defence, but that would bring an untold war between him and Bosco and Bosco's family; and it'll finally come back on my head. So I was way safer keeping it all to myself," she said. 

"How did that affect your life generally after the incidence?" Dr Lizzy quizzed. "The fact remains that my life never remained the same ever since. My dreams were affected, my performance at school dropped and my interactions with people were practically killed. I became very moody, was caught on many occasions staring aimlessly at nothing. I developed an unusual kind of hatred for men generally, and I became more withdrawn to myself. The only thing I did after that was to take to writing. I seemed to find an escape each time I lifted my pen to write, only that I often wrote incoherent nonsense, lines which only me understood. It affected my life dream of being a surgeon; and I later had to settle for another course of study, simply because I had to study something - just totally lost the passion to give my life dream the needed push due to chronic depression that bedeviled me from the very moment after the experience. I used to top my class, but after that incidence, the best I had smelt was the 10th position," Mrs Patricia said while she leaned back on the seat. "It's a single event that has so adversely affected my life, giving it a different turn altogether. Those 5 minutes of pleasure to him have translated to a 5 decades of pains and mental distress to me. There's no single moment that I remembered that humiliation that I don't bow down in pains within me. On countless occasions I had considered suicide, only God knows how I've managed to remain alive till today" she remarked as she concluded, using her bandana to dry her the tears which had started to drip down her once-very-beautiful cheeks.

While you think about the pleasure

Don't hesitate her pains also to consider,

For rape such a crime against humanity it is

So dehumanizing it blows no one no good.

Why in our generation the humanity dies

For what's meant a pleasure a pain it's practically turned?

Many an excuse many a person offers

The causes of rape on the victims we blame

And thus doing the culprits emboldened.

Say No To Rape!

Yes To Sanctity and Decency!!!

Many a Patricia out there we have 

Our duty it is to fish out and rehabilitate;

Their tears to dry and hope fully restore

Their cases hear and justice grant.

Patricia in our mothers, daughters, sisters and friends

While we give them a voice the dastardly act we stop.

The Bosco in our society their number abounds

In excuses and secrecy they thrive

Their innocent victims we consider not their pains

Oh that they're brought to justice!

In stricter measures their cases to try

While no hiding place we afford them.

Say No To Rape!

Yes To Sanctity and Decency!!!

By Dabere Timothy Chukwuka (Timothy Integrity)

(This piece of literature is an original work by Dabere Timothy Chukwuka (Timothy Integrity). It's a literary contribution by the author in solidarity with the Say No To Rape campaign as being championed by Ms Esther Nwaogwugwu.

This work is a pure piece of fiction for public awareness, education and enlightenment and should be accepted as such. Any similarity in character with any real person, organization or concept is a mere coincidence.)

FUEL YOUR DESIRE TO SUCCEED AND EXCEL

• "We often strive to convince others, even when we aren't convinced strongly enough."

One of the major determinants of success and Excellence on life is decision; but that's quickly followed by determination. The extent to which we're going to succeed and excel at any worthwhile venture is determined, to a large extent, by the strength of our determination. Our determination is simply a measure of how strongly we're convinced the course is worth our efforts, time and other precious resources at our disposal. As soon as we get ourselves convinced strongly enough, we defy all odds to go all the way to achieve our objectives. We often strive to convince others, even when we aren't convinced strongly enough. Here comes the essence of getting worthy "why"s for our actions, endeavours and ventures.

• As soon as we get ourselves convinced strongly enough, we defy all odds to go all the way to achieve our objectives.

Whys strengthen our grip on the rough roads to success and Excellence. The stronger our whys, the more "firm-footed" we're, going all the way and defying all odds. Strong whys do us more favour than others. They help us more than they help others. Often we think that all we need is just to get the required resources mobilized, acquire the needed skill sets and then get others convinced to back us up, then we're good to go; but then we're as wrong as we think that we're correct with these assertions.

I had a friendly argument with a female friend of mine a few days ago, and a meditation on its aftermath prompted this write-up. She had a rather bitter burstup with one of her family members earlier than day; the family member had misjudged her motives and actions with respect to some series of happenstances. As I started my chat with her she shared her ordeal with me, and I really felt for her because it was very obvious that she was completely taken off context. Then she vowed to go all the way and succeed so as to "prove her wrong". That was when the debate ensued between us. I appluaded her determination to "go all out and succeed", but the "why" driving that resolve is what I strongly opposed. After a series of back and forth reasoning, she saw reason with me.

• We don't need to succeed just so as to prove others wrong, nor do we need to succeed just so as to prove the point that "we too can".

She saw reason with me, which is this: We don't need to succeed just so as to prove others wrong, nor do we need to succeed just so as to prove the point that "we too can". There should be a far stronger "why" behind our resolve to succeed, than mere gratification of our selfish egos and proving of points around. So I won my argument with her, and my night was made that day; not because I won the argument, but because I got one more person to pursue success and Excellence with the right perspective.

• My night was made that day; not because I won the argument, but because I got one more person to pursue success and Excellence with the right perspective.

A friend of mine have his personal motto thus: NEVER GIVE UP! And for this I admire him. He's used it to both motivate and inspire success and Excellence in many people (including yours sincerely). Now the question is: How can we get many more people not to give up on themselves and their right courses? To this question I've come to realize that "if we get people to imbibe the habit of strengthening their reasons for any course they count worthy, it's 75% to 95% more likely that they won't ever give up".

• "if we get people to imbibe the habit of strengthening their reasons for any course they count worthy, it's 75% to 95% more likely that they won't ever give up".

So I'll like us to reason together through this very important question. The "Why" Questions. Why do you do what you do? Why are you embarking on that particular venture? Why do you want to succeed? Why do you want to be famous or popular or an authority in that field? Have you sat yourself down to take yourself through these questions? Have you resolved these to a very large extent? Have you answered these questions over and over again to the extent that the answers to them are literally propelling you towards Excellence, even against all odds? Having seen that your odds to stay on course and all the way to success is increased by 75% to 95%, wouldn't you rather sit down and resolve these questions until the answers POSSESS YOU the way alcohol possesses the drunk?

• Have you answered these questions over and over again to the extent that the answers to them are literally propelling you towards Excellence, even against all odds?

I wouldn't suggest any right answers to you, for as our faces are different so our answers would be. (And meanwhile, I jumped through the question of what you'd like to do or succeed at, with the assumption that it's already resolved in you. If it isn't, that's a prerequisite assignment to undertake before the present one.) So, whatever worthy course you're pursuing, why do you want to succeed at it? To prove a point to your "haters" and "nay sayers"? To "show them" that you too can? To have the chance to mock those who have mocked you? To "fluant it all" to everyone? To get the "fame" you've so much lusted for? While I wouldn't dictate to you what your "why" should be, I'd like to tell you that the above reasons are way too ephemeral to be worthy of a purposeful attention. Nobody was created just to go "show it back to haters". If the above are your reasons, then you're actually still under the control of the said "haters" and "mockers".

• Nobody was created just to go "show it back to haters". If the above are your reasons, then you're actually still under the control of the said "haters" and "mockers".

Maybe you'd think of how you have to succeed so as to be a shoulder to lean on and a source of strength to others. The truth remains that your life and success are tied to others' lives and successes and theirs are as well tied to yours, as nobody is an island. Same way, your failure can go a long way to discourage others. For instance, some years ago I was considering a particular "side business", and I considered it to be quite a "good business"; then as I shared my consideration with a friend, he immediately gave me every reason (with much passion as well) why it's a no-go area, and he immediately cited two friends of his who ventured into it and failed. Oh the courage he'd have picked had his friends succeeded! Consider how you need to be a source of encouragement and not discouragement to others. Consider how your success should bring honour and glory, and not shame to your Maker; and how much worship your success would bring to God. Consider how through your success you'd be a strength to your family who have stood by you all these years, and not just to go and prove some vain points. Consider how through your success a pillar to many people's lives and success you shall be. These should sink down into your mind, and push you to rise up and defy all odds and succeed.

• Consider how your success should bring honour and glory, and not shame to your Maker; and how much worship your success would bring to God.

May I therefore urge you to, whatever worthy course you'd succeed at, go sit yourself down and answer the "Why Questions". Keep the answers in front of you long enough until they're written on the front page of your heart, stirring you to success and Excellence; and by all means, NEVER GIVE UP!

FATHERHOOD: BIRTHING THE CHILDREN'S DESTINY

• Fatherhood: Birthing the Children's Destiny

James and his younger brother, by 2 years, Kennedy, were born in the mid 60s, quite before the Nigerian civil war, to a godly and well-disciplined home. Their father Anthony, who is still alive, was Catechist in the Church of Nigeria, Anglican Communion, then known popularly as CMS. He was committed to the moral discipline of his family as  well as to his Christian principles and faith. This meant that regular attendance to church meetings by members of his family was non-negotiable, as well as participating in daily morning and night family devotions.

Mr Anthony almost never used the cane in his home at all, as against the popular practice of his time. Instead, he had  in his home, particularly among his children, a way of enforcing discipline, which really got him fully involved and to which he was actively committed. He would ensure that the rules are well spelt out, as well as the penalties for defaulters;  and these he would follow through to the latter.

As early as the age of 12, he got his children, James and Kennedy inclusive, enrolled to the Boys Brigade. However, while James seemed to be easily ammenable to rules, Kennedy was on the contrary. The whole idea of having series of family rules and penalties well communicated and spelt out,  did not quite go well with Kennedy, including the compulsory Church services attendance and enrollment to the Boys Brigade. He only followed through because he was compelled to do so.

As months turned into years, James and Kennedy got married,  and soon had their own children. Their father, who got married in his late 30s, had made clear to them the need to start off one's home at an early age. This went a long way in influencing them to marry in their 20s.

In 1993 and 1994 respectively, James and Kennedy each had his first son, Oscar and Ken respectively. James took the path of his father in terms of communication of rules, maintaining of godly principles and insistence on the path of integrity, diligence and excellence for his children and family. This helped Oscar to turn out a very bright and disciplined child in all ramifications. Despite his father's wealth, Oscar maintained his level headedness. This helped him to win an all expense paid scholarship to one of the highly rated International Secondary Schools in his state of residence. He graduated at the age of 16, and was the best graduating student of his class. He proceeded to University where he studied software engineering, which was the course of is dream. He equally graduated at the schedule time as one of the best graduating students of the school that year.

Kennedy, on the other hand, had a rather carefree attitude over family discipline; nor did he really care so much about the godly principles and life of integrity with which he was brought up. Being a wealthy man, and very busy too, he believed that money answers to everything, and that child training and housekeeping should be the sole responsibilities of the woman. Moreover, being averse to his father's disciplinary stance and commitment to godliness in everything else, he really did not care for any of those things his own father instilled in him as a growing up boy. He only attended Church services during services, when he generously makes donations only to leave before the service was over; nor did he have the time to instill the principles of Excellence and good morals in his children.

Ken started to develop wild and undisciplined  habits. Being overly spoilt with material things, he always insisted on having his way in virtually everything; from the time he was in Primary School, nor did his Dad withhold any of his demands from him. He was a torn in the flesh to many of his teachers, from the Primary School through his Secondary Education. On many occasions they would invite his parents to school, because of one case or the other involving their son. However, a point came when they stopped inviting the parents because such invitations seemed to generate more conflicts instead of resolving the existing ones.

Ken went through four different Secondary Schools before graduating, as a result of multiple expulsions from school for offences ranging from sexual molestation of the female students, to physical assault on teachers and vandalization of  school properties. On each occasion, his Mom would quickly find another expensive schoolol for him.

Ken's life ambitions and dreams were never particularly clear so him, nor were they to anybody else either, and his parents were never there to help him straighten things. On a particular day, doing one of his school's career programmes, when of the guest facilitator, at random, asked him what his ambition was, he simply responded by saying that he wanted to be a "GEE". Nobody among the adults there present understood that being a GEE meant being an internet fraudster, otherwise known as Yahoo Boy. Attempt by the school counselor to straighten him out later hit the rock. 

Ken wanted to be a GEE, and he ended up becoming one; for from his first year in the University, he got entangled with fraudulent boys who took much money from him and taught him the practice of internet fraud. By the time he got to his final year, he was already one of the fraudsters on EFCCs most wanted list. By this time, Oscar had already finished his NYSC, and was engaged with one of the highly rated Multinational IT companies. Meanwhile Ken lost several years of Education no thanks so his untamed lifestyle.

The last straw that broke the camel's back for Ken was when he attempted and almost successfully defrauded Oscar's company. Oscar was the person that intercepted the attack, and gave EFCC the necessary tip-off. He was also able to track down and obtain the details which helped the antigraft agency to trace and arrest Ken and some of his colleagues. 

Why most of the boys were able to escape, Ken and a few other suspects were nabbed for further interrogation and possible prosecution. Meanwhile, since they were arrested on 21st day of June, may I seize this moment to lay strong emphasis on the importance and Central place of balance fatherhood to the nurture and discipline of the children into their God-given glorious destinies.

This story may be a fiction, but the principles expounded in it are factual. Child training is not a thing to be left for the mothers alone. The mothers have their roles to play, but the fathers as well have their roles to play which they can't delegate to the mothers. The fathers are central to the birthing of the Children into their glorious destinies. This can only be achieved through balanced discipline and nurturing.

Happy Father's Day to all fathers indeed!

Chukwuka, Dabere Timothy

(This piece of work is a pure fiction and should be accepted as such. Any character used here that corresponds to any individual or institution is a mere coincidence.)

My Thoughts on "Thoughts and Imaginations"

I believe that God gave everyone a brain because He knows that each one needs one, and we begin to fail utterly and pine away in penury because we have utterly failed to use our brains for the primary purpose for which day we are best stored in the first instance. Therefore everyone has a brain because everyone needs a brain.

• It is a divine imperative on each individual to maximally use his or her brain while still alive. 

One of our primary duties as individuals is to use our brains by ourselves, and not to allow others use them for us or compel us to make them redundant. This is the height of Education: the empowerment of the individuals to produce noble thoughts; and this is the real essence of civilization - the emancipation of the individual minds from primitive tendencies to think noble thoughts.

• The man ceases to live who loses the ability to think before acting; and he is a slave to the one who does the thinking for him. This is modern slavery. 

 Every individual has the onus on him or her to develop a programme for thinking and for imaginations. This is a debt everyone owes himself or herself. An attitude of deliberate thoughts and creative imaginations. A place for deliberate and creative thoughts and imaginations. And also a notebook or a diary  or a jotter into which to think and to capture his or her thoughts. 

Creativity is birthed through a habit of productive thoughts. That's when the candles are kindled in the mind, and sparkles of illustrations are unleashed into the innermost parts of the mind. 

The implications of this is that the hidden potentials of the inner man are brought to the fore, mediocrity is relegated to the rear and Excellence is enthroned to reign supreme. 

Woe is that generation whose folks have got much time for many things but little for prolonged, deliberate and creative thinking and imagination. Have you seen that generation whose myriads of its folks, especially the younger folks, engage in deliberate productive thoughts and imaginations? The doors of Excellence and creativity shall never be shut in it by the day, neither shall she know any night at all. 

My YouTube Channel

 

Some inspiring and educational content.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCee2jkmVUgrgk30vYkTElzQ

CRISIS AND LEADERSHIP

• While Crisis makes managers bitter, it makes leaders better. Crisis distinguish between managers and leaders.

• Leadership is not all about how you hold on without adversity, any manager can do that. Instead, it is all about how you turn up and respond amidst  Crisis and adversities.

One of the things  we have  to know about crisis situations is that they are not peculiar to anybody. As a matter of fact, from the moment any individual is born the person starts getting exposed to various degrees of crisis and adversities. What we turn out to be, after a certain period of time, is determined by how we handle all the crisis and difficulties and challenges and adversities and ups and downs that we have been facing from childhood and through our developmental processes.

Crisis does the following to us:

1. It brings to the fore the hidden characters and unspoken attitudes: There are always some hidden characters, attitudes and capabilities individuals that have been "developing well" have within them. Many of these are not readily apparent until they're exposed and brought to the fore by crisis situations. At times, the individuals are compelled by situations to call them up. And when they're not there, adversities reveal their absence as well.
2. It reveals our levels of preparedness for unforeseen circumstances and life. And this does not always mean that the leader particularly anticipates those particular crisis situations and so got prepared for them. Rather, there's a hidden attitude of preparedness in the leader that gets his mind continually ready to brace up to any adversity and crisis that might surface at any time.
3. It reveals the adaptability of our minds: God actually created us to be adaptable, and not to be comformable. He wants us to change and adapt as necessary, and not to be swallowed up and overwhelmed by situations and circumstances.
4. It reveals our resilience. An ability to bounce back, and stronger: There's a general inertia in every individual. They would rather stay the way they are than change. Some people are more resilient than others. Crisis and adversities reveal how resilient a leader's mind is.
5. Crisis reveals our choices. Actually the tenets for making of choices in life are already there within us even before we make them. What crisis do is that it reveals what we have within us whether we have the capability to make good choices or not. We can pretend when there is no crisis but once crisis hits, there will be no more hiding place for us.
6. Crisis also reveals the leaders willingness to learn: This means that it shows his depth of understanding of situations and his mental capabilities to absorb new knowledge and embrace new and better ways of doing things.

These all show that crisis distinguishes between a leader and a manager. This shows that leadership is not for the rigid, is not for the lazy, is not for the unadaptable, is not for the week, is not for those who are emotionally and mentally immature and unstable.

• Crisis makes the leader to start asking the necessary questions to review his stance and to concentrate his energy and resources on what is really important and not on frivolities. 

• He eliminates some bottlenecks, which a manager would rather hold on tenaciously to, in order to effect the needed change in his organisation. 

While the manager comes out of crisis battered and wounded and impoverished the leader comes comes through crisis better and enriched and wiser and more sophisticated.

In conclusion it is up to you as an individual to decide what you would rather develop: the manager in you or the leader in you. If you want to be a great manager, you can; it does not involve much risk to be one. It only demands your ability to conform to the status quo to be a great manager. 

However if you want to be a great leader, you can as well decide; only that you must embrace a different paradigm: a paradigm of positive change as against dogmatic status quo, a paradigm of adaptability as against conformity, a paradigm of innovation as against renovation, a paradigm of positivity and seeing possibilities in every adversity and crisis situation. This is a choice everyone has to make, but the latter pays better.

THERE IS A NAME

                                   THERE IS A NAME

  There is a NAME. I have found IT- Yes, that NAME. It works.....like magic? No, magic is not the word. Magic is a negative word. I am talking of  a positive word. Magic has a limit but what I am talking about is limitless. There is every tendency to lose a key otherwise a key could have described the NAME more appropriately.
       
       Costly, precious, priceless, and yet available to both the poor and the rich. Come and buy yet without money. Silver and gold is not the answer because the entire World Bank cannot purchase the precious ornament. Yet I tell you it is available to whoever wills. I am not kidding! Have you not read the sure words of Isaiah the prophet?

“Ho! Everyone who thirsts,
Come to the waters;
And you who have no money,
Come, buy and eat.
Yes, come, buy wine and milk
Without money and without price.
² Why do you spend money for what is not bread,
And your wages for what does not satisfy?
Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,
And let your soul delight itself in abundance.
³ Incline your ear, and come to Me.
Hear, and your soul shall live;
And I will make an everlasting covenant with you—
The sure mercies of David.(Is. 55:1-3)

   All you need to do is to take a decision that you need what is genuine and precious. That is all you need-decision and decision for what is genuine but precious, costly, priceless and yet can be purchased without money...Yes, there is a NAME. That is what is in that name. Are you willing to make the decision? If God tells you something, will you believe? If you cannot believe what God says, then you need not bother yourself. But if you do, listen to this:

“The heart is deceitful above all things,
And desperately wicked;
Who can know it?
¹⁰ I, the Lord, search the heart,
I test the mind,
Even to give every man according to his ways,
According to the fruit of his doings(Jer 17:9-10)

¹³ And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you to the place from which I cause you to be carried away captive.....(Jer 29:13-14)

    Listen now! God has given us a name that opens closed doors permanently-never to shut again, if you hold lightly to that name. I don't care how closed that door is. it is my sincere experience that I am sharing with you. It is not an academic exercise----- A name that opens all closed doors, whether by the devil or by the human being, it does not matter. This is my experience and the experience of a host of witnesses. It shall be your own experience if you care.

   The greatest you need to know is that the NAME opens the doors to eternity. Temporary doors usher you to things that have to do with this world but eternal doors to that of eternity. Yes, that is the greatest this NAME can give you. |come and buy without money--Just your whole hearted decision. God said:

For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
⁷ Of the increase of His government and peace
There will be no end,
Upon the throne of David and over His kingdom,
To order it and establish it with judgment and justice
From that time forward, even forever.
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this.(Is 9:6-7)

 God was making a sure promise about an extra-ordinary child with an extra-ordinary authority and power that will be made available to us. He eventually sent an angel to a man called Joseph and said of him:

 But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. ²¹ And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.(Matt 1:20-21)

JESUS! is that great name. God says : "Give him the name, Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins" Sin has been a barrier to man from getting anything from God-- a terrible barrier for ages which God cannot compromise with, for he said:

“To what purpose is the multitude of your sacrifices to Me?”
Says the Lord.
“I have had enough of burnt offerings of rams
And the fat of fed cattle.
I do not delight in the blood of bulls,
Or of lambs or goats.

¹² “When you come to appear before Me,
Who has required this from your hand,
To trample My courts?
¹³ Bring no more futile sacrifices;
Incense is an abomination to Me.
The New Moons, the Sabbaths, and the calling of assemblies—
I cannot endure iniquity and the sacred meeting.
¹⁴ Your New Moons and your appointed feasts
My soul hates;
They are a trouble to Me,
I am weary of bearing them.
¹⁵ When you spread out your hands,
I will hide My eyes from you;
Even though you make many prayers,
I will not hear.
Your hands are full of blood(Is 1:11-15)

Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened,
That it cannot save;
Nor His ear heavy,
That it cannot hear.
² But your iniquities have separated you from your God;
And your sins have hidden His face from you,
So that He will not hear.(Is 59:1-2)

  This great hindrance --Sin --had been a great problem, a great barrier for us to obtain from God, and now, God Himself has provided a solution in a name--Jesus, "His name shall be called Jesus because, he will save his people from their sins.” But what says the scriptures":

  "He came to that which was his own; but his own did not receive him" (John 1:11)

That is another problem-"His own did not receive him". That name has been given, but the deceitful heart of man has many deceitful arguments that hinder him from accessing the name. There comes the question of individuality and choices. Individuals have the right to choose what they want to do. Your decision for whatever reason matters but God has given a name that can change our eternal and temporary situations. Thank God that the scriptures also records that:

¹² But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: ¹³ who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.(John 1:12-13)

                                                                               

Great! Here comes your decision--to receive or not to receive, to believe or not to believe. Precious, costly, priceless but free. Bill? Only to be obtained by faith at the expense of Him who has paid all with His precious blood--the blood of Jesus. And what says the scripture:

And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. ⁹ Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, ¹⁰ that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, ¹¹ and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.(Phil 2:8-11)

There is a name given, the name of Jesus. It is above every name. When mentioned all knees in heaven and on earth and under the earth bow. Can you imagine that! Why not accept God's testimony now. All you need to do is to receive him and believe in Him. Invite Him now into your life. Ask Him in as you pray this prayer:

"Jesus, You died for my sins to set me free. I am sorry I have been running my own life in sin and ignorance. Please forgive my disobedience, wash my sins away with your precious blood. I open my heart to you in all sincerity. Come in my Lord and savour. Amen.” Period! You are a child of God. Believe that he has come in. Begin now to trust him in every detail of your life. Ask for the booklet --"Now that I have received Christ" from:

Rooted In The Word Ministry

Box 143, Nnobi

Idemili south. Anambra State

Nigeria

Email: integrity3rdtim@yahoo.com, integrity3rdtim@gmail.com

Phone: +2349094782199

About Me

Timothy Integrity

Life's all about making advancements by advancing and helping others move forward and get better.

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Nuggets to Thriving in Adversities

• "We align to light today for a brighter tomorrow; and we do that deliberately."

The challenges and obstacles in your life may increase arithmetically, just make sure you're constantly improving yourself geometrically.
That's the only guarantee that you'll remain relevant in the days to come.

• We align to light today for a brighter tomorrow; and we do that deliberately.

• The future belongs to those who dared to buy it TODAY, even amidst adversities.

• In times of adversities, one of the best things you'd do for yourself is to calm down; and calming down, to rethink yourself.

• It's an unpleasant truth that there may come a time you'd need to lose your job in order to find yourself.

In summary, you have to rise above the prevalent circumstances you find yourself in in, particularly when they look bleak, in order to see the ray of hope in the horizon. 

Expose yourself to a higher principle, see the brighter tomorrow even amidst the gloomy circumstances of today, and you see yourself pushing your way to the light.

#ThinkPossibility

#RemainPositive

Wading Through Adversity

• John C. Maxwell said: "You can't manage your way through crisis, you have to lead your way through." 

    This is so because during adversities, those who come through and bettered are those who don't allow the situations to have the better of them. They're those who show great resilience and who stand up from the overwhelming situation to think beyond just maintaining the status quo.

    If all you do is to merely copy what others have done or have been doing, I'm afraid to inform you that adversities are sure to leave you so impoverished and bitter. No matter how much you desire to thrive, such a dominant thought pattern during adversities will NEVER help your ventures in any way.  If your dominant thinking during adversities is on how to survive it and maintain your head above waters until the adversities are over, then you've got the wrong mindset.

     May I inform you that every adversity that you face in life always comes with it opportunities for you to improve yourself and rise to the next level. Adversities, as unpleasant as they may seem, carry with them the driving force for excellence. Excellence, of course, is not what you actualize through management, it goes beyond management; excellence is what you attain through clear leadership.

     You take the following steps towards wading through adversities, in order to come out on a higher pedestal:

1. Acknowledge that there's a Crisis: One of the things you won't want to do, and can't afford, as a leader is to live in denial. Before every other person sees it fully, you should see it yourself. That's not being negative minded;  rather it's part of having a clear foresight.
2. Determine and Define the Challenges: This doesn't mean that you must see the whole situation clearly from the beginning; however, a good leader should be well ahead of the led in defining the extent and possible impacts of an adversity on the organization.
3. Strengthen yourself: This is very important. The people you're leading may be thrown off as they begin to see the unfolding challenges. That's why you should recover or receive inner strength ahead of them, so as to be able to extend strength to them.
4. Cut Down on Dersonal and Organizational Excesses: You should be quick to restructure yourself and your organization in line with the unfolding challenges. You should, however, avoid pressing the panic button or taking steps that would weaken the system (especially the human assets).
5. Remain Flexible: If there's a more appropriate time to be flexible with organizational processes, it's during crisis. Being flexible helps the organization to more readily adjust to the unfolding realities.
6. Communicate More: Communicate more with the organization's personnels and clients. If there's any time to be open with "essential" information as an organization, it's during crisis period. (Essential, because there are some pieces of information you have to guard or protect the more during adversities; these will be required for your thriving through it all.) Communicate the challenges, but Communicate detailed strategies and solutions more. Give hope through appropriate and adequate communication.
7. Brainstorm Within the Organization, Improvise, Look Within, Source for Solutions: This is the period to do the do. It's the period to take prompt actions. Some actions must be taken so quickly, as quickly as the ideas are crystallized, during crisis to avert greater dangers. Don't rely on your own opinions during crisis, extend to those you're leading and you'll be surprised at how solutions would flow in. It's left to you to sieve and galvanize them into workable information.
8. Reach Out without Selling Out: Adversities afford us the opportunities to reach out to other organizations, especially if they're as well going through similar challenges. It's time to build alliance with others. Know what they're doing and also think of how to adopt and/or improve on their approaches. It even gives you the opportunity to build stronger networks. However, be very careful not to sell out your vital strategies that need to be treasured.
9. Diversify: Adversities give us the opportunities to learn new things, try different perspectives and spread our tentacles to many other areas. There are times you just have to diversify in order to remain viable during adversities. Don't ever be caught rigid during adversities. Try new things, discard what doesn't work and what's obsolete. Remain relevant through creativity.
10. Reach Out: You can't afford to be full of yourself and your organization during adversities. Reach out to others and you'll even get more strength and learn more through that. Try helping out. Just make sure you go beyond the four walls of your organization to reach out to others. This way you might be buying the needed security for your thriving through the adversities.

May I summarize with two quotes:

• "In the middle of difficulties lies opportunity."

Albert Einstein

• "Crisis bumps us out of our comfort zone into the creative zone." 

John C. Maxwell