FATHERHOOD: BIRTHING THE CHILDREN'S DESTINY

• Fatherhood: Birthing the Children's Destiny

James and his younger brother, by 2 years, Kennedy, were born in the mid 60s, quite before the Nigerian civil war, to a godly and well-disciplined home. Their father Anthony, who is still alive, was Catechist in the Church of Nigeria, Anglican Communion, then known popularly as CMS. He was committed to the moral discipline of his family as  well as to his Christian principles and faith. This meant that regular attendance to church meetings by members of his family was non-negotiable, as well as participating in daily morning and night family devotions.

Mr Anthony almost never used the cane in his home at all, as against the popular practice of his time. Instead, he had  in his home, particularly among his children, a way of enforcing discipline, which really got him fully involved and to which he was actively committed. He would ensure that the rules are well spelt out, as well as the penalties for defaulters;  and these he would follow through to the latter.

As early as the age of 12, he got his children, James and Kennedy inclusive, enrolled to the Boys Brigade. However, while James seemed to be easily ammenable to rules, Kennedy was on the contrary. The whole idea of having series of family rules and penalties well communicated and spelt out,  did not quite go well with Kennedy, including the compulsory Church services attendance and enrollment to the Boys Brigade. He only followed through because he was compelled to do so.

As months turned into years, James and Kennedy got married,  and soon had their own children. Their father, who got married in his late 30s, had made clear to them the need to start off one's home at an early age. This went a long way in influencing them to marry in their 20s.

In 1993 and 1994 respectively, James and Kennedy each had his first son, Oscar and Ken respectively. James took the path of his father in terms of communication of rules, maintaining of godly principles and insistence on the path of integrity, diligence and excellence for his children and family. This helped Oscar to turn out a very bright and disciplined child in all ramifications. Despite his father's wealth, Oscar maintained his level headedness. This helped him to win an all expense paid scholarship to one of the highly rated International Secondary Schools in his state of residence. He graduated at the age of 16, and was the best graduating student of his class. He proceeded to University where he studied software engineering, which was the course of is dream. He equally graduated at the schedule time as one of the best graduating students of the school that year.

Kennedy, on the other hand, had a rather carefree attitude over family discipline; nor did he really care so much about the godly principles and life of integrity with which he was brought up. Being a wealthy man, and very busy too, he believed that money answers to everything, and that child training and housekeeping should be the sole responsibilities of the woman. Moreover, being averse to his father's disciplinary stance and commitment to godliness in everything else, he really did not care for any of those things his own father instilled in him as a growing up boy. He only attended Church services during services, when he generously makes donations only to leave before the service was over; nor did he have the time to instill the principles of Excellence and good morals in his children.

Ken started to develop wild and undisciplined  habits. Being overly spoilt with material things, he always insisted on having his way in virtually everything; from the time he was in Primary School, nor did his Dad withhold any of his demands from him. He was a torn in the flesh to many of his teachers, from the Primary School through his Secondary Education. On many occasions they would invite his parents to school, because of one case or the other involving their son. However, a point came when they stopped inviting the parents because such invitations seemed to generate more conflicts instead of resolving the existing ones.

Ken went through four different Secondary Schools before graduating, as a result of multiple expulsions from school for offences ranging from sexual molestation of the female students, to physical assault on teachers and vandalization of  school properties. On each occasion, his Mom would quickly find another expensive schoolol for him.

Ken's life ambitions and dreams were never particularly clear so him, nor were they to anybody else either, and his parents were never there to help him straighten things. On a particular day, doing one of his school's career programmes, when of the guest facilitator, at random, asked him what his ambition was, he simply responded by saying that he wanted to be a "GEE". Nobody among the adults there present understood that being a GEE meant being an internet fraudster, otherwise known as Yahoo Boy. Attempt by the school counselor to straighten him out later hit the rock. 

Ken wanted to be a GEE, and he ended up becoming one; for from his first year in the University, he got entangled with fraudulent boys who took much money from him and taught him the practice of internet fraud. By the time he got to his final year, he was already one of the fraudsters on EFCCs most wanted list. By this time, Oscar had already finished his NYSC, and was engaged with one of the highly rated Multinational IT companies. Meanwhile Ken lost several years of Education no thanks so his untamed lifestyle.

The last straw that broke the camel's back for Ken was when he attempted and almost successfully defrauded Oscar's company. Oscar was the person that intercepted the attack, and gave EFCC the necessary tip-off. He was also able to track down and obtain the details which helped the antigraft agency to trace and arrest Ken and some of his colleagues. 

Why most of the boys were able to escape, Ken and a few other suspects were nabbed for further interrogation and possible prosecution. Meanwhile, since they were arrested on 21st day of June, may I seize this moment to lay strong emphasis on the importance and Central place of balance fatherhood to the nurture and discipline of the children into their God-given glorious destinies.

This story may be a fiction, but the principles expounded in it are factual. Child training is not a thing to be left for the mothers alone. The mothers have their roles to play, but the fathers as well have their roles to play which they can't delegate to the mothers. The fathers are central to the birthing of the Children into their glorious destinies. This can only be achieved through balanced discipline and nurturing.

Happy Father's Day to all fathers indeed!

Chukwuka, Dabere Timothy

(This piece of work is a pure fiction and should be accepted as such. Any character used here that corresponds to any individual or institution is a mere coincidence.)